First of all, please don't think I'm smarting off or being glib about this. It's something I've struggled with for awhile.
My husband and I haven't been to church for most of the summer. Today we went for Sunday School, but we didn't stay for corporate worship. And I'm pretty conflicted about it. I feel like the reasons I have both for wanting to go and wanting NOT to go are weak, and if you push those weak reasons aside, I'm not sure what's left.
Reasons to go:
- People expect it (especially here in the South)
- To humor the pastor (we like him, and he did make a point of inviting us personally today)
- Scripture expects it (we're not sure on this one)
Reasons not to go:
- We gain nothing (as far as I can tell - no learning, no fellowship, no strength)
- Our presence there benefits no one (beyond them being glad we're there because we're supposed to be!)
- I feel like I'm facilitating bad habits. Is this worship? Are you kidding me?? We come because we're supposed to or because we're used to it. We sit in the seats we're used to. We sing the songs we're told to. We listen attentively to the choir's anthem, but we don't clap because it's not a performance (though if it's not, I'm not sure what it is). We listen to a message that the pastor has worked so hard on, but because of the way the gathering is structured, we can't participate or respond beyond shaking his hand on the way out and saying "nice sermon, Pastor," and so it's SO EASY to let our minds wander...
Please, God, save us from ourselves. (I really didn't intend to rant. Yikes.)
And this is a church we LIKE! Our pastor is awesome. The people are so kind. I love the Methodist hymns (though some of the newer ones feel... weird). I even love our follow-along-in-the-book things. (What are those called?) In fact, possibly the reason I feel so conflicted is that I really believe the promise I made to support the local congregation (although I didn't make the promise at this church and I haven't yet transferred my membership, this has become our local congregation, just not officlaly) with my prayers, my presence, my gifts, and my service.
I want to want to go. The times we've stayed for corporate worship, it's felt like wasted time - not harmful to us, perhaps, but not the best use of our resources. And I'm not sure what to do. I know that church can be more than this. But I'm not sure what I can do to help at this church. On the other hand, we've really connected with some of these people, and I don't want to just leave them behind and go looking somewhere else.
I just don't know what to do.
Image thanks to http://www.saintmarymagdalene.org.uk/
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Going to church
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
You might try gathering with others before the service and praying for a powerful and manifest move of God that day. Pray until it happens.
Just an idea.
Thank you :)
Wow. I hope you don't mind my cutting in on the comments, esp. since we just met :) in blogland. But some parts of your dilemma mirror ours - returning to Methodist church that we love, going to Sunday school - but we have an early "contemporary" worship service that is more casual & upbeat, more praise songs than hymns.
Do you have other opportunities for fellowship with church community in addition to Sunday school?
Well, good luck, I mean, well, you know...
I've thought about joining the choir. But while I love, love, LOVE music, I'm not real comfortable with the concept of a church choir - or at least, not with anthems. I feel like they encourage passivity for the congregants, which IMO is not a good thing.
And it's not just the "feel" of the service. It's more the structure of corporate worship. It doesn't build community (which I think is needed) or give opportunity to serve others (ditto). Praise is organized rather than organic, and while it can be helpful to have that encouragement, sometimes I think it becomes a crutch we cling to when we need to develop the habit of having a continual attitude of praise.
Anyway. :) Rambling!
Hi,
Perhaps reading Joel Beeke's "The Family at Church" might give you some ideas to incorporate into your sermon listening experience. I have found it helpful here. I think the first part of the book on sermons is better than the second section on prayer.
Post a Comment