Response to "An Open Letter"

Over at Suzanne's Bookshelf, Suzanne linked to a post by Mike Seaver in which he invites egalitarians to answer questions on a number of practical issues.

Since I have had no theological training at all - unless you count Bible study or Sunday School - I am delighted to be able (to attempt) to respond. While "the theological debate is more important than the practical debate in the arguments of the complementarianism vs. egalitarianism," it is, for the most part, beyond my ability to discuss with any level of comfort.

1. If the Titanic accident were to happen again, would you desire 50% of the seats on the life boats to be left for men? I would prefer that the seats on the life boats be reserved first for children, second for the infirm. If there were any left, those seats should be given to the elderly. Gender should not play a role.

2. If there is a robber who just broke into your house and you are married with children, would you want the man to go downstairs or the woman or would this be done depending on who had done it last time? Hm. Actually, I would rather NOBODY went downstairs. I'd want to make sure that we found something inconspicuous to wedge the children's doors closed, and then go back to our room and bar our own door. The stuff in the house is just stuff. And while I would be willing to go do it, I think it would upset/frustrate/annoy the husband if I didn't let him Be The Man (see #7).

3. Would an egalitarian woman be offended at a man holding the door for her? Offended? Some might be; I'm not. However, if he had his arms full and I didn't - or if he RUSHED past me to get to the door first so that he could open it - I would think he was an obnoxious idiot. It's kind of like being a Lutheran and having a Baptist attempt to "save" you (or vice versa): Awkward, uncomfortable, and annoying, but you know they mean well.

4. Do egalitarian parents allow their boys to play rough with the girls just like the boys play rough with other boys? Well, that depends on whether or not the other player wants to play that way. But it would be the same for either girl or boy: consider what the other person wants as well as what you want.

5. Do egalitarian parents train their boys that it is okay for them to be "stay at home dads?" If so, does a lot of domestic training happen for these boys? We don't have any children yet, but if we ever do, my husband will BE a stay-at-home dad, so we may have to make a point of saying it's okay for girls to do that too! As far as training - definitely. It's called chores! ;)

6. Do you feel that women boxers should be allowed to fight in the ring with men? Allowed? Yes... but I doubt that in most cases it would make for the best match.

7. Do egalitarian women desire to be protected by their guy (boyfriend, husband, father, etc.) or would they prefer to protect themselves? I desire to protect my husband slightly more than I desire his protection. However, I know that he VERY strongly prefers to protect me, and I love him, so I try to let him Be The Man.

8. Does an egalitarian female "pastor" get a maternity leave from her preaching responsibilities? Oo, good question. I wouldn't think it would be necessary, TBH - not past any health concerns, which would be similar to a male "pastor" having heart surgery. In fact, I bet the congregants would be delighted to see her bringing the baby to work with her. Or her husband could care for the child during her work hours.

9. Does an egalitarian female "pastor" counsel men about pornography? No more than a male "pastor" should counsel women about sexual issues.

10. Do egalitarian pastoral staffs go on pastoral retreats together? If so, how does that work with having guys and girls together? Do the spouses feel strange about this? I don't know. I've never heard of a retreat where it was a requirement that everyone sleep together, so I don't see an issue with it. I could see a lone male or female being uncomfortable if everyone else was of the other sex, but other than that, as long as there are separate sleeping accommodations, it should be fine.

Actually - our English department did this last year. We've got one guy in the department, and I do think he feels ... maybe not left out, but very aware of being different, sometimes. His wife came to the conference with him, and they roomed together.

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My husband and I were both raised in families in which dad worked and mom stayed at home. I don't think of my parents as women's rights advocates. I don't recall much "submission theology" in church; I guess it didn't seem to be an issue. And yet it never occurred to me that women could not - or should not - be leaders chosen by God.